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Sunday, April 4, 2010

Kanashii

tears for you
on my paper
smearing ink
and misery
with hurt
and heartbreak
i should
wipe them from
my cheek
steady my
shaking hand
and forget
or rather
remember
that i
love you too
much
to hold you
down
to make
silly demands
and dream
of days
that will never
come
days that once
played in our
collective
fantasies
illusions of
the naive
perhaps even
one sided
was i so
caught up
in my desire
for you
that i couldn't
see that i
was alone
i don't know
nothing makes
sense
anymore
my heart aches
and my eyes
burn
everything i
want to say
i can't
i have no
right
i won't
burden you
don't want
you to worry
too scared
to have you
more scared
to lose you
lost within
this abyss
of melancholy
not gentle
but searing
in fire and
ice
melting me
with long
hidden passion
but drowning
me in buried
worries
no one else
can do this
to me
no one else
touches me
so deeply
that i'd give
anything
for your happiness
even my own
without hesitation
please save
me
or put me out
of this blessed
misery
i beg of you
do it quickly
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I'm a wife, a mom, and a writer. My life is crazy and chaotic ... but I wouldn't have it any other way!

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"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be." -- Abraham Maslow

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